change is inevitable.

Things have changed, not tolerance for people who show me they cant & will not go above & beyond for me. I don't need to be blamed & ridiculed for not doing what people assume I'm going to do, be the woman who always goes out of her way, 'just to be nice'. There are few men who have the ability to behave like gentleman anymore. And their are few people who understand what it means to be a friend.

After my big breakup w/ my ex I got a tatto that says,'Change is inevitable' because I knew that our relationship needed a change and that I needed to change. And now I'm a better person for changing & if my ex could've understood that, we'd still be friends. Sometimes looking down at my tattoo, I feel some comfort knowing that change is apart of life & I don't need to be scared. Just like when I found out I had cervical cancer. Change is constant, on going, never ending, inevitable. I fear no break-ups, no cancer, no nothing. There is always a part of myself that doesn't like when things happen & wishes they didn't but it had to.

APARTMENT?!?!

So I just got an apartment and guess what, I have NO FURNITURE! All I have is a bed and clothes. Haha, I havo plastic forks, knives, plates and cups but nothing else. It's a complete mess, I move in in two days (Friday coming up) and I don't even have PG&E set up. I was living on campus in an apartment style kinda thang but all the furniture was provided. I went on the PG&E website, and I'm so lost. Like where the hell is the link that simply says,"I want my lights turned on". That would be SO helpful, haha. With all that being said, pray for me. This weekend is going to be interesting.

I'm going to be a Mommy.

I never thought I'd ever say that.. I'm goin to be a Mom sometime soon & I couldn't be more excited.I'm adopting a kitty from my local shelter. =) But I can't pick which lovely baby I want to take home. I mean honestly, who could pick w/ these little faces looking at you??

Nothing.

"If you expect nothing,
you won't be so disapoointed w/ them
If you expect nothing,
you won't feel like you don't matter
If you expect nothing,
you won't be waiting for a change
If you expect nothing,
they almost can't hurt you.
Unless you expect the best from them.

Protect your heart."

-Lauren P-H

Fun Food.

Whenever I have kids, yearsssss from now. They will get this. Would've been crazy fun when I was a child to have had this!!! I'm actually a little jealous.. Aren't you?

Le Fancy?

Last weekend my best friend Leah came over & we got fancy. Drank some wine, watched a movie, had some girl talk. It was great. =)

FAFI

I feel like this Fafi looks like me for some reason.. Hmm..

my naked girls.

TOO HOT. TOO HOT BABYYYYYY.


KATE MOSS-druggie/model/snow flake




STACEY f'n DASH-model/actress/caramel




RIHANNA-singer/bad girl/milk chocolate




MEGAN FOX-actress/exotic/tannnnn




VANESSA WILLIAMS-40-ish/model/actress/singer/BOMB.com

happy thoughts.

Last last weekend, I went to Chicago for a pre-medical conference. Student National Medical Association. IT WAS GREAT! Learned so much information for my future. Made me feel so empowered! So for the last two or so years of school, I've been majoring in Biology (Pre-Med)(NOT COOL) and I have been struggling! Working two jobs, got sick my freshman & sophomore year, just a MESS! Anywho, I met some cute medical students(so professional haha) and some doctors, gave me some words of advice and just helped me realize that I only need to complete 7, yes SEVEN classes in order to get into medical school and I can major in whatever I want to! So I'm sitting there like what the h?? I could've been an art major this whole time?!? Initially, I was pissed but now I'm relaxed, knowing that I'm healthy, and going to get all A's. Great, amazing, splendid, awesome feeling. =)

I miss her. So much.

My grandmother, Rose Marie Sidney died on June 17th, 2001.We called her Sweet Mama. She was my best friend. Maybe it's the rain but when I woke up this morning, I missed her so so much. I miss our conversations, our fun, our relationship. My mother is a business woman, in and out of airports, here and there. She has a fun spirit but she got that from my grandmother, she was fun 24/7, always wanted to dance, act silly, make jokes. I feel like a lot of my characteristics come from her. Just wish she could see how far I've come; and I'm not even all the way there yet. I know she would be proud. But her physically not being here, is always going to sting a little.

I was semi-adopted by another woman as her grand daughter in 2008.(I decided not to put her name out of discretion for the family) During that time, I felt like a child again, whole again. She really made me feel like I was one of her own and I could have asked for a better adopted grandmother. So when she passed away, I cried, oh shit, did I ever, I cried my eyes out. A lot of people didn't understand how I could've felt that way for a woman who wasn't my blood in such a short amount of time but, it was her spirit, and everything about her. If only I could have done more, been there more..She was a great woman, forever missed.

for the late night.

So just finished washing & blowdrying my hair. I'm in the middle of a deep conditioning and decided to make a little playlist for myself & for you all. Some good songs, I bring these bad boys out when I want to relax in the bath tub. I'm sure you'll get more 'use' out of these songs then me. Haha, way more.

Enjoy!

p.s. Goodnight..

Vegas Anyone?

For my 21st birthday I plan on going to VEGAS! My family has a condo out there so I'm going to stay for 4 days and 3 nights. It will be amazing, I can feel it in my funny bone. Everything will be caught on camera/video so I can remember it for the rest of my life. =) For about 6months now, I've only been drinking wine. It just seems like the right thing to do if I want to drink alcohol. I had the first two years of college to get completed drunk and tired of vodka, rum, ect, ect.. the list goes on. Time to throw the pinky finger up & be a little fancy. So upon arrival in Vegas, I will be stopping by the closest BevMo, Safeway or costco and stocking up on my favorite noir, Red Biciclette and Moscato. I'm so excited and it's only March. AHHH! =)

I'm 21 on July 24th!!

For my 21st birthday I want tickets to go see the Chelsea Lately show. Maybe I should make a list of all the things I want for my birthday, hmmmm. I think I shall!

YO! YO! YO!

Dang, my bad. I forgot I even had a blog for a minute. Haha well, today has been a GREAT day. All of my classes cancelled. Been lounging around my place nekked. (just kidding), cleaning up, organizing, talking to people over the internet, texting and what not. Main reasons why my day is so fantastically stupendous?

1. Over $300 in bank account
2. All of my bills are paid
3. Full gas tank
4. No school today
5. Left over Cheesecake Factory in my fridge (cheesecake too)
6. My best friends are having great day's too!

Now, I'm going to continue this great day by going to safeway and buying some vanilla soy milk for my cereal in the morning, picking up my dry cleaning, and playing some wii fit until I knock. Might be on here a little later just in case something interesting comes up ;)

& this is what I look like rightttttt nowwwwwwwww
(I was yelling, heck yeah I'm happy! & then click)

michael jacksonnn

Best tribute I've seen so far. Should've been at the Grammy's, opening act.

draw.

Kung Fu Panda!!

BRA PURSE!

This was for sure made just for me. Sometimes I dont want to put my bulky phone in my pocket and sometimes when im out at a club or something, I dont feel like carrying a purse so I put it in my bra.. SO I think I have just found the BEST invention everrrrr.

INFO: Mazantri Creations mission is to use ingenuity to provide clever creative ideas that meet the demands of our modern society while providing excellent customer service. We are committed to maintaining the integrity behind the products we provide. We are excited to offer a variety of accessories that can be worn by all shapes and sizes. We offer the Cleavage Caddy for the woman who wants a little lace to accent their attire, and the Cleavage Caddy II for the woman who wants the convenience of the pockets for storage or traveling but doesn’t need the lace.
In providing the service we are presenting we stand behind our products if you are not completely satisfied please return and we will issue a refund.

neat-o

Light Art Performance Photography or LAPP-PRO is a duo from Bremen, Germany. LAPP consists of a JanLeonardo Wallert and Jorg Miedza, who specialize in performance photography. The process is accompanied by music. This art is called "Light Sculpture". Although I dont have the music, it's pretty cool that these pictures are made all from different color lights. Enjoy.

recepie!

So being in college has made me oober resourceful. I take just about nothing for granted. I use everything and the dollar store is pretty much a freaking gift from God himself. So! With all of that being said, I found a good way of making your own cough suppresant/throat soother recepie. I've only tried it once, doesn't taste very nice but cheap cheap cheap. Here ya go.

You need:
•1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
•1/4 tsp ground ginger
•1 T honey
•1 T apple cider vinegar
•2 T water
•small jar (large shot glass =))

So take the small jar/glass add all the ingredients. Shake up real good. & add as much honey for your sore throat as you want. DONE.

Now you just saved $7 from the grocery store. =) your welcome.

underestimated