I'm going to be a Mommy.

I never thought I'd ever say that.. I'm goin to be a Mom sometime soon & I couldn't be more excited.I'm adopting a kitty from my local shelter. =) But I can't pick which lovely baby I want to take home. I mean honestly, who could pick w/ these little faces looking at you??

Nothing.

"If you expect nothing,
you won't be so disapoointed w/ them
If you expect nothing,
you won't feel like you don't matter
If you expect nothing,
you won't be waiting for a change
If you expect nothing,
they almost can't hurt you.
Unless you expect the best from them.

Protect your heart."

-Lauren P-H

Fun Food.

Whenever I have kids, yearsssss from now. They will get this. Would've been crazy fun when I was a child to have had this!!! I'm actually a little jealous.. Aren't you?

Le Fancy?

Last weekend my best friend Leah came over & we got fancy. Drank some wine, watched a movie, had some girl talk. It was great. =)

FAFI

I feel like this Fafi looks like me for some reason.. Hmm..

my naked girls.

TOO HOT. TOO HOT BABYYYYYY.


KATE MOSS-druggie/model/snow flake




STACEY f'n DASH-model/actress/caramel




RIHANNA-singer/bad girl/milk chocolate




MEGAN FOX-actress/exotic/tannnnn




VANESSA WILLIAMS-40-ish/model/actress/singer/BOMB.com

happy thoughts.

Last last weekend, I went to Chicago for a pre-medical conference. Student National Medical Association. IT WAS GREAT! Learned so much information for my future. Made me feel so empowered! So for the last two or so years of school, I've been majoring in Biology (Pre-Med)(NOT COOL) and I have been struggling! Working two jobs, got sick my freshman & sophomore year, just a MESS! Anywho, I met some cute medical students(so professional haha) and some doctors, gave me some words of advice and just helped me realize that I only need to complete 7, yes SEVEN classes in order to get into medical school and I can major in whatever I want to! So I'm sitting there like what the h?? I could've been an art major this whole time?!? Initially, I was pissed but now I'm relaxed, knowing that I'm healthy, and going to get all A's. Great, amazing, splendid, awesome feeling. =)

I miss her. So much.

My grandmother, Rose Marie Sidney died on June 17th, 2001.We called her Sweet Mama. She was my best friend. Maybe it's the rain but when I woke up this morning, I missed her so so much. I miss our conversations, our fun, our relationship. My mother is a business woman, in and out of airports, here and there. She has a fun spirit but she got that from my grandmother, she was fun 24/7, always wanted to dance, act silly, make jokes. I feel like a lot of my characteristics come from her. Just wish she could see how far I've come; and I'm not even all the way there yet. I know she would be proud. But her physically not being here, is always going to sting a little.

I was semi-adopted by another woman as her grand daughter in 2008.(I decided not to put her name out of discretion for the family) During that time, I felt like a child again, whole again. She really made me feel like I was one of her own and I could have asked for a better adopted grandmother. So when she passed away, I cried, oh shit, did I ever, I cried my eyes out. A lot of people didn't understand how I could've felt that way for a woman who wasn't my blood in such a short amount of time but, it was her spirit, and everything about her. If only I could have done more, been there more..She was a great woman, forever missed.